Noel keeps a
work calendar on his computer, and I keep an old-fashioned date book (the kind
you actually write in) for my work. We
also write upcoming events on a calendar that hangs in the coat closet. Don’t ask me how we ended up with this
system; usually we’re able to keep it all straight. But, several weeks ago the
calendars around here collided. Noel
came home from work announcing that a couple of friends from Idaho were coming
for the weekend to go sailing. He said,
“I checked and we’ve got the weekend free.”
“Wait!” I
said, “what about the grandchild who is due at any moment? When do you plan to go and see the new little
one?” Although we didn’t know it was a
girl at the time, our granddaughter Maeve was overdue to be born. On the due date I texted her Mom, Kylene and
said, “Okay. We’re tired of
waiting. Hand over the baby.” It didn’t work. Maeve obviously had her own calendar and was
taking her own sweet time. Then I took a
look at the closet calendar and realized that we were supposed to have dinner
with good friends on the weekend also. We realized that something had to
give. Noel told me that these
out-of-town guests were super excited to come and he didn’t see how he could “un-invite”
them. So, I reluctantly cancelled our
dinner plans and we figured that if the baby would only come during the week we
could sneak in a trip to Missoula before our guests arrived. The altered plan seemed like an okay
compromise, but I was pretty bummed about missing the dinner. I am, by nature, a planner and I like to know
what is going to happen well in advance.
I don’t like it when changes are made at the last minute. Well, Maeve
finally decided to arrive on Thursday and we thought that our new plan was
working fine. Then, our Idaho guests called
late Thursday evening to cancel because of unforeseen travel due to work. I couldn’t believe it. We’d rearranged everything because they were “super
excited” and now they weren’t even going to come! Noel put down the phone and
said, “Okay, on to plan number three. I
don’t suppose you forgot to cancel the dinner plans did you?”
“Nope. And I can’t exactly call and say. Just kidding…we’ll see you on Saturday,” I replied with maybe just a hint of sarcasm
in my voice.
So, we
decided to drive to Missoula to see our new little granddaughter on Saturday
knowing that we could easily work around everyone else’s schedule who wanted to
see the baby. After all, we had nothing
else planned for the entire weekend.
Then, the telephone rang again. I
said, “What now? Did they decide to come
anyway?” Noel answered, and I saw big
smile grow on his face as he listened.
He said, “I think that would be great.
We’ll be in Missoula anyway on Saturday.” He put down the phone and said, “We just got
two free tickets to the football game.”
So, off we went with plan number four.
I must admit that by the time Saturday came I was frustrated by all the
changes and I was a bit miffed that we had accommodated everyone else’s
schedule. (Okay Maeve, you’re officially
forgiven for coming late.)
Now, I know
with a busy family this kind of thing happens all of the time. I’m just saying, that with the two of us,
things are usually pretty quiet and we are able to make plans that don’t change
all that often. Like I said, planning
ahead is what I do. Then I can count on
things and look forward to them.
Everything seems to go more smoothly and I enjoy myself so much
more. Spur of the moment? Not me.
I’ve been
thinking about that weekend recently as I’ve tried to figure out what’s happening
at the holidays. Years ago we gave up
celebrating on the actual day.
Thanksgiving can be anytime in November.
Last year we celebrated part of Christmas at the end of February. In this day and age most families have to
work celebrations around many others’ schedules…ex-spouses, in-laws, step-children,
work…you know what I’m talking about. Our family is no different. Add the fact that we’re spread from coast to coast
and the problem grows bigger. Even
expecting to see the majority of our family at holidays is ridiculous. Yet…we do.
We just want to have our loved ones around us some time near the actual
day. And we’ll do just about anything to
make it happen.
Come October
I start thinking and planning…and that often is not a good idea. I badger Noel, “Have you heard from the
girls? What are they doing for the
holidays?”
“I have no
idea,” comes the familiar response. I always
know what he’ll say. I just ask him as a
reminder that the holidays are approaching…like he can’t read a calendar.
I sort of
know what rotation the kids are on. Some
of them alternate Thanksgiving and Christmas.
I tell myself that it’s only fair.
It is. But on some level I still
cry, “Pick me, pick me! Pick me every time!” And then the sensible me chides the emotional
me for being selfish.
A couple of
years ago I made some remark to Noel’s daughter Lindsey about the continual struggle
of who’s celebrating where. I think I
said something like, “Sometimes I get frustrated knowing who is coming and what’s
happening. I just want everyone to come
and celebrate with us.”
I’ve never
forgotten her reply. She said, “I used get
upset that everyone seems to want me to be with them during the holidays and I
can’t be everywhere at once. But, I just
remember that it’s only because so many people love me….and how can you get upset
at that?”
So, as the
holidays approach I am trying to remind myself that if I feel over committed or
if plans change at the last minute it’s because the people I love are in turn loved
by many others. And like Lindsey said,
how can you get upset at that?
So, here and
now I drink a toast to the upcoming holidays.
May you have as many loved ones near you as reasonably possible. May you cherish the moments you do have. And may you be so loved by so many people
that you are filled with joy just knowing that everyone simply likes to be in
your presence.
And if nothing else, may
you remember the “happy” part in “Happy Holidays.”
